exhaustion.

Today I kind of feel like my friendship with someone is kind of gone. I mean she still texts me about coming to dinner, but that's about it. And when i go to dinner i really dont talk to her mostly because she usually just talks about science the entire time with John or talks to Kate. so i usually just talk to nina. or sam.
i don't know. we used to have a pretty good friendship i thought but this semester she's been acting really weird. And i barely ever see her except for dinner. It's just weird. i don't even know why she still invites me to dinner, it's kind of useless.
And dinner's are always scheduled around what Kate can do, it's really annoying.
Like today we are eating at 5. that's in 45 minutes. i'm not even hungry... i mean that could be because i ate some special k like 45 minutes ago... or the fact that we normally dont eat until like 6.
I kind of just don't feel like going. I'm so tired, i haven't been sleeping very well. And I want to make sure my paper is good and then send it in. which i guess i could be doing now. but no thanks. haha.
anyways i don't know i'm feeling kind of sick, i'm afraid that i might have a fever. I"m so cold right now and the heat is on in my room but i can't even feel it. i'm like ready to crawl under my blankets and take a nap or something.
but i would probably miss dinner if i did that.
sigh. i just need to get through this week and next week, then i'm home for break.
I can do it.
sigh.
guess i'll work on my paper for a bit, go to dinner, then wait three hours until the Christmas candle light service which i love.
it's just so cold out. i'm so tired
i need to call my grandma too.
goodness.
well goodbye.