1. Apparently, Emmett is a sore loser
2. You can't hurt a werewolf without breaking your hand.
3. Boys in Forks don't understand the concept of "Ladies Choice Dance"
4. Now we all really know how thunder is made...
5. Before cliff-diving, theres many factors to consider. Especially if you can't have a wolf by your side.
6. People get island's as presents.
7. Really pale people are secretly vampires.
8. There is a difference between shape-shifters and werewolves.
9. Hollywood never gets anything "mythical" right.
10. It's healthy to ditch class every once in a while.
11. Yellow Porsches make good bribes
12. If a fight happens to break out at your wedding between your vampire husband and your werewolf (ahem...shapeshifter) best friend, no one will even notice, so it's okay.
13. Getting married at 18 is just so darn funny to your dad
14. All dads are super cool about their 18 year old daughters getting pregnant.
15. If your skin looks sparkly while in the sunlight you are automatically a vampire.
16. Not all vampires drink human blood.
17. Vampires can get very passionate especially when they start biting pillows or break headboards.
18. Royce King SUCKS!!!
19. If you see someone with reeeally pale skin & totally black eyes...RUN!
20. When in doubt as to what to name your child, mash up the names of your parents & in-laws together
21. DO NOT forget to pack your super sexy silky Victoria's Secret pajamas.
22. It's safe to be in Italy at all times!
23. Jacob Black does the BEST chainsaw impersonation.
24. Stay away from werewolves when they are about to phase.
25. Never let your dad cook, unless you want burn spaghetti
26. Always leave my window open in the night!
27. Real guys suck.
28. In a world where mythical creatures don't exist, your best guy friend would be your soulmate.
29. Mythical creatures do exist.
30. Some of the most wonderful and terrible things can happen in small towns
31. Always bet on Alice, not Edward
32. When camping in a blizzard, bring a space heater or a werewolf
30. Vampires are very Jealous
31. Vampires feel the need for speed (going 100mph or faster)
32. Having two guys (mythical creatures) fighting over you can take alot out of you
33. Motorcycles are not practical motor vehicles for Washington
34. If the guy that you like has eyes that change colors... When black do not mess with him, when they are gold, now is a good time to talk!
35. Not all minds can be read...
36. Some of us are real klutzes and have trouble walking across a flat piece of ground!
37. Some are just magnets for trouble!
38. Don't be surprised when vampires pay for everything and anything like college tuition, car payments, house payment, etc.
39. 109 years old virgins are sexy
40. Always have a half-naked guy to save you from drowning
41. 4 Books can make thousand.. (millions?) of people think about one thing EDWARD CULLEN
42. When you're being stalked and about to be raped by random frat boys, don't worry, the hot guy you like is gonna save you.
43. I learned My life is meaningless now!
44. When its hot out, there is no need for A/C when you have Edward
45. If stuck in a love triangle have a child. That solves everything.
46. Never tell when you buy clothes or when you cut your hair, but its especially important to remark how slow your computer is.
47. Being prepared makes everything easier, including becoming a vampire.
48. A vampire won't notice if you're on your period.
50. A paper cut can end life as you know it.
51. You can find the answer to anything on Google.
52. When in danger of being killed, get a whole new identity, some fake documents and flee to Rio de Janerio.
53. You can get the wittiest and smartest quotes from The Simpsons reruns.
54. Don't piss off Rosalie.
55. Adrenaline rushes are common.
56. Getting married at 18 is apparently very funny to your dad.
57. Marcus needs some excitement in his life
58. Don't get caught thinking about Leah Clearwater naked.
59. You can drown a blonde by gluing a mirror to the bottom of a pool
60. Blondes (especially Rosalie) get mad when you get food in their hair.
61. That beautiful boy in school is not being rude when he ignores you. He's being very polite and trying to resist your blood.
62. It is possible for a plain-looking, book-worm, klutz to get the man of her dreams... get the most amazing man in the world.
63. If a large native-american boy keeps insisting on baby-sitting your 2-year-old daughter, or attending her princess-themed birthday party... watch out.
64. The world is sexist. Sure! Everyone remembers Taha Aki... but the woman who saves the day is remembered as "The Third Wife".
65. If your friends ditch you and start acting weird, it's okay because they're just becoming werewolves... No worries, you'll soon follow.
66. There are actually 8 colors of the rainbow
67. The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest
68. Vampires don't actually sleep in coffins or turn into bats.
69. The right man will love you no matter how badly you can/do hurt him.
70. Being klutzy and accident prone is a good thing- it just means that a sexy vampire will save you!
71. It's alright to be jelous of mythical creatures/fictional characters.
72. It's alright to love said mythical creatures/fictional characters!
73. Dad's don't like "the specifics."
74. It's OK to be bruised by your sexy vampire husband on your honeymoon.
75. Always bring the pepper spray.
76. Morphine DOES NOT work! (sorry Carlisle!)
77. Let the vampires open the presents.
78. If you are a human, stay away from the south!!
79.A lifetime of servitude is not worth a box of candy hearts.
80. Warm sodas are the best.
81. It's an off day without your vampire lover telling you how edible you smell
82. Shiny Volvo owners are not ALL stupid.
83. The Cullens have the most bad ass musical collection EVER!
84. Always consider ALL of the options when you hear voices (or just one voice) in your head.
85. It is always good to have a before and an after car
86. Having friends around the world will benefit you someday
87. If the mysterious guy in school doesn't eat -- possible vampire
88. It's always a good idea to live near a meadow and a forest
89. Take swimming lessons from a vampire
90. You don't need drugs to mellow out you just need Jasper.
91. Never wear the nighty you really like on your honeymoon, it'll never make it out in one piece.
92. If your boyfriend vampire leaves you don't freak out thinking he doesn't love you, he'll be back. He's would do anything to keep you safe.
93. My life seems so bleh after reading these books. *sigh*
94. Redheads apparently always = evil in books/movies
95. Boys are always grumpy when their hungry.
96. Moms always know when the daughters boyfriend is willing to die for her.
97. When someone is always camping on a sunny day be careful! he/she can be a vampire.
98. Biology could be the perfect place to meet the love of your life
99. Now volvo could possibly be the most popular car between the ages of 15-25
100. EDWARD IS PERFECT.
101. Vampire sex is not a good form of birth control.
102. Sometimes, life does resemble the classics.
103. Sometimes baby vampires aren't really baby vampires.
104. Never look Jane directly in the eyes.
105. Always bet on Alice
106. Rosalie has her reasons for being Rosalie.
107. Never go to the overpriced mechanic for car troubles... Just seek out the nearest werewolf.
Thanks to Rachael Victoria
:)
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