blah blah blah.

sad news my dear friends.
Chad.
is.
taken.


i know. soak it in.
oh i guess we should clarify. IT'S NOT BY ME. although the sad news part should have made that sort of clear. but you know just in case you didnt' get that :)
i know this is very sad. but dont worry i'm taking it fairly well.
good thing too since i only decided recently that i liked him better than shb ahha.
oh well. these things happen.
and well maybe it's for the better?
who knows, i mean he's graduating anyways, and i don't even know that much about him. (besides that he seems awesome and really nice) and it's almost summer. so then i'll go back home.
although truthfully i really dont' want to date anyone from home.
I mean i was thinking about the guys who i grew up with, and well all the good ones are taken and the rest are just weird or they really like to party. which i'm not into that scene.
so i'll just wait til next semester, come back here and start all over again.
except this time i'll be a senior. so i'll only be looking for guys my age. Really not interested in dating younger men. and who knows maybe i'm not meant to end up with someone from college. right? this is a possibility. I'm not giving up, i'm just mentally preparing myself :)
such a sad thing that most of the good guys are taken, or gay. I say most because I mean my guy friends are good guys (well besides Joe, he's just creepy and like i told my friends today if i had to date him or die. i would probably choose to die... and this is its the end of the world kind of scenario. he's really just that creepy, i mean i would probably rather become a lesbian than date him. again it's the end of the world kind of scenario, this applies to andrew too, although andrew isn't really creepy he's just childish and i can't handle that it annoys me.) it's just i'm not sure i would want to date them. I mean i love John he's so funny and nice and he cares about what you think, but he's always really nervous about everything he does. his anxiety like takes over his life, and it's a lot to handle. i mean honestly i think i could handle it, i mean it's really not that big of a deal even when i hang out with him... oh i dont know what i'm saying. haha it's John it's hard to explain what i mean, you almost have to meet him for everything to make sense.
then there is Steve, and i love Steve too, he's so funny and he would probably be able to entertain you for the rest of his life. but man he likes to drink. a lot. i mean he's 21 it's no biggie, but he hates himself, and i can't see someone who hates themself being able to love anyone else. you know?
then there's Chuck, and well i can't necessarily say that i love Chuck, I mean he's a cool guy, but he makes sexual innuendoes out of everything EVERYTHING! even things that normally can't be made sexual. and i feel like if you dated him he would want sex. all the time.
and well i'm waiting until marriage.
so you know.
that sums up the guy friends situation.
although i have other guy friends but they aren't guys who i hang out with or see on a regular basis.
i mean there is Dave from Greek class, who is really cool, he says hi to me all the time and he reminds me of the BA guy from the Breakfast Club. and he's quitting smoking. which i think is cool.
and there's Gavin but he's taken, haha.
man i actually was just thinking about all the guys i do say hi to and that's a lot more than i thought. i didn't even list them all.
there's Cameron, Kyle, Mike and Clayton (the roomies whhhaatt! haha), Tom, hmm that could possibly be it. but that's way more than i expected haha.
woah.
uh anyways enough about that
I FINISHED MY ROCK SCULPTURE TODAY! yeahhH! and i am almost done the final sanding/polishing process. i just need to polish it but i was trying to do that and milton told me that the stuff everyone else is using might not work for me. so i have to ask him about that tomorrow.
also tried cleaning out more of the stuff inside my bronze bowl. which i did, but it's really not coming along. so Milton will also have to be asked about what to do. i hope he doesn't make fun of me for asking.
so even though Chad is taken i'm still going to gush about how when i walked into the room today he was like "Hi how are you?" and i was like ":) good how are you!" and he was like oh good.
it was so nice.
and i still dont understand why he talks to me now. i mean i talked to him like uh twice before all these times that he keeps talking to me now: once in like march when we were introduced and like last week when i told him his ceramics was really cool. i dont know about you, but in my world that usually doesn't suddenly involve saying hi to that person all the time and asking them how they are.
not that i'm complaining since i think it's really awesome of him. it's just interesting. very interesting.
i kind of want to know who his girlfriend is.
just out of interest.
i never want to be the person who breaks up a couple though. i am not interested in doing that at all.
but hey i would be willing to be just friends with Chad. he's pretty cool.

oh it was pretty funny though Chad "raku's" his ceramics, which is this really cool glazing method, but whenever he does that he has to wear a smock and a bandana. i dont know why but he does and it's really funny. so he was wearing his bandana and Milton came over because i was sanding my stone in the area Milton designated the sanding area which was near the sink and the glazes which is where Chad was, but Milton was like what do you call those things some kind of rags? and Chad was like.. a bandana? and Milton was like yeah yeah but dont they have like a special name some kind of rag? i was like umm a do-rag? and Milton was like Oh yeah a do rag! then he like laughed, and i was like oh jeez, and just laughed. Milton is one of a kind. let me tell you. lol, Sam was there with me too and Milton like asked her something about his wild eyebrow. i know he like talked about it before but i kind of didn't pay attention then since i was working on stuff, but when he asked Sam she was like uhh. so it was Chad, Sam and me like looking at Milton like what are you talking about. it was pretty funny.
I'm actually going to miss Milton, he always made me laugh, even though i had no idea what he was talking about half of the time. haha
oh well.

So it definitely sounds like Sculpture is taking over my life, and well it is. haha. but i did have earth and space today, it was boring like normal haha. then theology through film which we watched the rest of The Fisher King, which was a pretty good movie. :)
just so you know. ahah
but now it's time to go to sleep. i have so much to accomplish tomorrow.
ughhhh.
Greek at 8 :(
then do extra credit for earth and space.
lunch at 1230.
work on my bronze bowl until my bronze meeting with milton at 2.
then a meeting with Alix and my peer mentor partner at 330.
then pry back to bronze working for awhile. then dinner. and the Emotions Dance show. where i will die of laughter when SHB goes on the stage and dances. hahahah.
then my friends want to drink and watch Avatar. and well i really just want to come back to my apartment and probably crash. or do work.
need to finish my theology paper. do my greek final. sounds like not that much. but that will take my entire weekend. sigh.
oh also my family decided they dont' want me.
well my brother "texted" me from his itouch saying they can't come help me pack my room up next wednesday because he HAS to go to youth group.
yeah.
i was like what? that's so dumb. so i said fine whatever i'll stay here at school with my friends what do i care.
then my mom emailed me and was like well you can still come home wednesday then we can go back up on saturday to get your stuff. and i was like uh no i'm not doing that.
i legit would rather stay here at school. i basically have no interest in going home. and i still have no idea what i'm doing for my internship my teacher never told me anything. so i'm kind of freaking out.
i also never did talk to the pastor of the church though.
sigh. why am i slacking so much... :/
well i for real need to sleep now. ahhh.
good night.